...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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