I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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