she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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