I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
