Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
