What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize