my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
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