hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
