My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
and i looked up. we had an audience...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
