so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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