We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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