fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
