I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
