Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
