Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
