theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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