You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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