U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Boobs speak an international language.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Randomize
