I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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