I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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