Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
