I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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