he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
