who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
