I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
