The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
