Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
