I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
