Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize