Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
