Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize