All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
