We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
