I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
