i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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