i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
