using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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