Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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