I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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