You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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