my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My bed smells like the plague
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