Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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