He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
