i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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