Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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