I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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