Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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