The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Randomize
