love makes seman taste better
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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