I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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