Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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