I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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