do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
