Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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