i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
