How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
