i just wanna soil my oats bro
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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