Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
