You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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