my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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