Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
